Forgive, but Never Forget
by Kali Donovan
Summary: When the Titans look into Raven's room one morning, they realize that it was either them or her, and she had already decided... Rated because I don't want small children reading this and getting the wrong idea. You'll see. Not dirty.


**Prologue**

Raven licked the envelopes closed, addressing them simply, _Robin, Starfire, Cyborg, Beast Boy, _and_ Press._ She wrote down a journal entry for the last time, book marking the entry where everything would be explained. Raven smiled ruefully before checking her makeup in the mirror. Content with how her face looked, she dressed in her best robes, the lavender ones that skimmed across her curves and shimmered slightly. Dressed up in all her glory, she wondered. Where to finally do her duty? In the living room? No, that would be too sudden for the poor early rising Titan. Which was probably Robin. Her room, however dark and suffocating it may be, would have to work. Raven lay down on her bed, careful to not wrinkle the sheets, and grabbed the glass of water she had prepared. As the last of the liquid slid down her throat, her eyes closed one last time.

Across the room, her meditation mirror cracked.

* * *

**Now**

"Raven? Are you all right? You haven't come out of your room since last night," Robin said. The Titans had drawn straws, and he was the unfortunate short one. The lucky Titans crowded around him, ears to the door.

"I think we need to go in." Cyborg started to punch in the code for the door.

"Are you crazy? Remember what happened the last time we went into her room?" Beast Boy pulled Cyborg's hand away from the keypad.

"I believe that Cyborg's method is correct. Raven usually responds to our voices. But now no noise nor sign of life has emitted from the room." Starfire punched in the last few digits. The Titans gasped as the door opened. The air was stale and heavy with the stench of death, like a mausoleum.

"Raven? Are you all right? Talk to us!" the Titans shouted after the first second of shock. The four of them ran into the room and crowded around the bed.

Robin kneeled down, patting Raven's face lightly. "Wake up. Don't scare us like this. You're just asleep." Robin continued doing this, not accepting the truth.

"She looks so peaceful. Like she just fell asleep one day and never woke up." Cyborg said.

Beast Boy rested his hand on the table, feeling out of place and guilty. When he felt the letters, he grabbed them, handing the ones for Starfire and Cyborg to them, putting the ones for Robin and the press in his pocket.

Impatient, he opened his letter.

_Beast Boy,_

_Don't worry about me. I'm all better now. I can't hurt anyone. I know you'll be able to fly free because of my decision._

_I hope that you can peruse your career as a comedian. You really are funny sometimes. In twenty years, I want to be able to look down from wherever I end up and see your name in lights at some bar._

_And don't lose your dorkieness. It's charming. _

_I hereby give you permission to look in my books for research and to help Terra. I marked ten or so books that might help her. I didn't get to read them yet, but I'm pretty sure they have the information you need._

_You had nothing to do with my decision. Well, you actually had everything to do with it. If I had stayed alive, you would be dead now, and all the efforts to save the world from corruption would have been in vain._

_And you're my friend. I can't let you die. I would rather die than be the cause of your death. I am not a coward for escaping my destiny; I am brave for stopping what can't be stopped._

_Love,_

_Raven_

Beast Boy stared at the paper, not getting the meaning of the words written in that careful hand. The only thing that went through his mind was, _Wow, her handwriting is messy._

He looked back at Robin, who was now holding Raven. "Don't die on me. I won't forgive you if you do."

"Robin." Robin didn't answer. "Boy Wonder." Still no response. "Richard!" Beast Boy yelled. Robin looked up. "It's useless. She's dead. She killed herself. Now get off of her body and I'll make the call to the funeral home. She made it easy for us. Now take this letter, go to your room, and get yourself together. You are our leader. You shouldn't be crying."

Robin stared at Beast Boy for a moment, stunned by the harshness of the words and confused by the lack of cruelty in the voice. Robin set Raven down, smoothing out the wrinkles of her robes, and walked out of the room.

As Robin passed Beast Boy, Beast Boy murmured, "Forgive her. She did it for us," and handed him Raven's letter to him.

* * *

In her room, Starfire stared dully at the pink paint and flowery bedspread. Usually, the décor matched her mood. Now, it only disgusted her. She walked to her closet and found a spare bedspread, in a nice powder blue. This didn't match her either, but at least it was better than the pink.

When her bead was redone, she forced herself to feel righteous fury so she could hit the walls with star bolts, turning the paint black. That matched her mood exactly.

When her room was adequate to mourn in, she sat on the bed and slit her letter open.

_Starfire,_

_Don't ever stop being happy. The others might not make it without your optimism. You were the shining star that made me wake up in the morning. The thought of your smiling face that didn't care about how I looked on the outside was enough to fight for. You always were, and always will be, my best friend. You know why I can't express emotion._

_Do you remember the times when Slade attacked after Terra? When he had the mark of Scathe? I am the portal. You know that. If I were still alive, I would bring doom upon the world. And you and the other Titans would die. So I did what I needed to do. I saved you and the world. Please understand that you are not at fault. It was me who was born this way, and my father who wants to destroy all of life in general._

_Don't ever lose your inner fire._

_Love,_

_Raven_

Starfire assumed that the last word was Raven, but she couldn't ever be sure, because a tear clouded the words. At first, Starfire thought it had been Raven's, but another one accompanied it, and another, until her vision was blurry and her throat was tight.

* * *

Cyborg slammed his head on the table for the third time. Because, for the third time, he was on hold. Who could have known that it was so hard to get a decent Priestess of the Order of Inner Peace? It was just a simple ceremony. The last rights were easy. He could probably do it if he had a license for it.

Getting a funeral home was simple. Getting the coffin was simple. Ordering the gravestone was non trivial (the company insisted on an above ground crypt), but still easier than getting a simple priestess.

Cyborg considered getting a normal priest from the nearby church, but Beast Boy had nixed the idea. Raven's body had to be put to rest by a woman, and one from a fitting religion at that. No Christians, no Satanists, a pagan priestess who could honestly say that she liked Raven and understood her.

As the muzak restarted it's loop, Cyborg flipped Raven's letter in his hand for the thousandth time. He still hadn't opened it. He was afraid to. The teenager who had fought a mind controlling psychopath single handedly was afraid of a single letter.

Cyborg was confused when his fingertip popped off to reveal a letter opener without his thinking about it. Okay, _that_ was nature's sign that he had to read it.

_Cyborg,_

_You were my older brother, and the best one could have. You would listen to my whining, never tell a soul, and you weren't actually related to me, so I couldn't hate you. I love you like I love Starfire and Beast Boy. _

_Don't sweat my funeral too much. I don't care what it's like as long as my body is stuck in a coffin and you guys are there to see me off to the next world. You could burn my body and stick me in a shoebox for all I care. Just don't work yourself to death._

_Take care of Robin. Knowing him, he'll obsess over necromancy until he hurts himself trying to bring me back from the dead, and then sink into a deep depression until you guys pull him out of it. Please don't let him pry into my books. He might kill himself trying some rituals. He might even summon a demon and strike a deal with it._

_Keep on protecting the city, and never forget me._

Love,

_Raven

* * *

_

Robin sunk into his bed, the unopened letter still in his hand. He turned so he was on his back. A full day had passed, and now moonlight was streaming through his open window.

"Why did you go?" he whispered. He half expected a monotone voice to answer. Half of him was disappointed.

All of the things he wanted to do with her flashed before his eyes. Learning to drive, learning to dance, another birthday party, riding on his motorcycle, reading poetry at the nearby café, killing Trigon, and a thousand other things…

His mind led him to a scene he had imagined a thousand times before, changing it until it was perfect. She was on the roof, on a clear starry night with a full moon like this, gazing out at a thousand pinpricks of light and hope. He would walk up to her, looking up also. She would say that the night was beautiful; he would look at her and say he thought the view was amazing. She would look at him and not have time to say anything because her lips were blocked…

Robin sighed. There was no point to dreaming about moments that couldn't happen. It was pointless. A small part of him smiled, thinking that was exactly what she would say.

He rolled over on his side. The letter crinkled. Robin sat up suddenly, not wanting to ruin the letter he might never open. Opening the letter would seal the fact that she was dead, and could never come back. Ever. It confirmed that she was lost to him forever. But this was the last piece of communication from her he could ever have. He opened the letter, a mass of dread in his stomach.

_Robin,_

_I love you. Not as a younger brother. Not as an older brother. And certainly not as a sister. As the one thing that keeps me fighting crime. The one thing that inspired a book and a half of poetry. As the one thing that broke my masquerade._

_You have your mask, and I had mine. Yours was material. Mine was a firm mask of indifference, that kept me from the world, that kept me from breaking down crying every day, knowing that every beautiful thing I saw would be destroyed by my hand. The thing that kept me from the cold stares and hate mail._

_You broke my mask. Around you, I could smile. I did smile, though my hood was usually up. I couldn't bear it if you found out and didn't return my feelings._

_If you do not, don't think that's why I did what I did. I did what I did to save the city, the Titans, and you. You understand completely._

_And if you do, than I will explode with happiness. Everything will be right with the world, I will make sure of it._

_Please do me one favor. Forgive me. If I could have found another way to change my destiny, I would have done it. But destiny is, well, destiny. You can't change it too much. If I still lived, than no one else would. And they're all too valuable to me to die._

_Remember to still live your life, even though mine's ended._

_Love,_

_Raven

* * *

_

The newspapers over the next couple of days were oddly boring. There was one story printed repeatedly, in the exact same words, about Raven's death. And only that one story.

**Hello, city. This is Raven. I bid you all goodbye. I won't burden you with details, but if I had stayed alive, you would all soon be dead, along with all other life on earth. So I died to save you.**

**I want you guys to live. Make this city thrive. Make it flourish like it should. I know you can.**

**I will always be watching you guys. I won't be able to affect it that much, but I will do what will help. You should try to do what you can, too.**

**On a slightly less inspirational note, no other paper is to print a story about my death unless it is this one. No pictures are to be taken without the express consent of the Titans. The Titans are going through a lot right now.**

**If my wishes about this story and the pictures are not followed and honored, than I will make the offender miserable. Don't ask me how, I just will.**

**Back to the happy joy stuff. Don't make my death be an action in vain. Try to save the city from corruption. It deserves it, and you deserve it. One day, this city will be the center of the world. It will be a beehive of activity. The sooner you guys make an effort to bring the city to it's full potential, the sooner it gets there.

* * *

**

Four teenagers dressed in black walked slowly behind the coffin. They were supposed to be carrying it, but they couldn't. They weren't strong enough. Not brave enough.

"Robin?" Starfire said from beneath the netting in her hat.

"Yes?" Robin replied, shaken out of his deep thoughts.

"Are you going to be all right? I know you were greatly affected by her death."

Robin looked up, not knowing the answer. He was about to say that, when he realized that all of the ravens from the city were also following the funeral procession. And one huge black bird was leading them. "I might be, Star. I hope so."

They got to the crypt. It looked like an old Greek or Roman temple, with pillars and statues of great minds. Other people were gathered there. In fact, most of the city had taken a day off of work and school to go to Raven's funeral. Children were holding single black roses, some running up in small groups and resting the flowers, along with some sort of present, on the wall of the crypt. The adults couldn't do that, but they had the bouquets that no doubt would find their way against the wall.

The Titans smiled lightly, knowing that was how she would have liked it. A group of younger teens came up to the door of the crypt nervously, and set down a leather bound book. When Cyborg focused in on the title, he saw Poetry written in gold lettering. Raven would like that, he thought. She would be proud to know she inspired others.

The priestess walked up to the podium, gave a small speech about life and death and how it's all a cycle. Then she gave it up to the Titans.

They all knew that they would have to go up sometime. So they went up together. The four of them stood behind the podium, staring out at the crowd nervously.

A tight but still beautiful voice started to sing out in a haunting song. Music seemed to flock to the delicate rise and fall of the notes, making it seem like an orchestra was behind the singer. The ravens chirped in. When the song was done, Starfire looked out at the crowd again.

"That was the ancient Tamoranian song for fallen heroes. It reminds us of who died for us, who loved us so much that they were willing to lay down their lives so we could live ours. I can think of no song, Earthling or Tamoranian, that would fit the occasion better."

Beast Boy shifted so he could speak better into the microphone. "The worst thing you could say about Raven was that she was creepy. I did, once. But she isn't. Is it so creepy to be attracted more to the dark? Is it so creepy to help people in your own way? She was devoted to changing what she couldn't change, and she did. I hope you guys realize that."

The city looked expectantly at Robin and Cyborg, but neither could think of something to match either the glory of Raven herself, or the first two parts of her eulogy. The Titans stepped down from the podium and watched other citizens add their gifts to her grave. Other books of poetry or art were laid down, along with candles, incense, and herbs. Night fell, and there were still more people to lay down things on the crowded monument in the cemetery. The ground around the gifts was populated by fireflies and glowing candles, marking paths of the people.

* * *

To this day, it is said that if you tell the grave your wish, it might come true. And if you lay your poetry or stories down, than they will get published. Robin's habit of collecting the poetry and short stories to publish them in _Quoth the Raven: A Tribute to a Fallen Titan_ might have something to do with that legend. The 'creepy' people always come to the grave on her birthday and deathday. They sit down and light a candle at dawn, and watch the whole cemetery until sunset, when they stand up and sing a song a mysterious red haired woman with green eyes taught them. Every few days, one of the Titans would come, to tell her the news. Raven became the patron saint of all things dark and strange, the protector of children and avenger of the abused. Statues were erected in her honor, one in each district of the city. Eventually the other Titans died, and they joined her in the crypt. Other statues joined Raven's. A flock of ravens still lived over the crypt, but now, a small mechanical bird, a lark with some oil on it's wings that makes it seem green, a Tamoranian nightingale, and a robin join the flock, the five birds flying around and singing. 


End file.
